A significant piece of evidence in the Hinckley trial was the New Year's Eve monologue of December 31, 1980. John Hinckley spoke this to his tape recorder:
John Lennon is dead. The world is over. Forget it. It's just gonna be insanity, if I even make it through the first few days. . . . I still regret having to go on with 1981 ... I don't know why people wanna live.
John Lennon is dead. . . . I still think-I still think about Jodie all the time. That's all I think about really. That, and John Lennon's death. They were sorta binded together. . . .
I hate New Haven with a mortal passion. I've been up there many times, not stalking her really, but just looking after her. ... I was going to take her away for a while there, but I don't know. I am so sick I can't even do that. . . . It'll be total suicide city. I mean, I couldn't care less. Jodie is the only thing that matters now. Anything I might do in 1981 would be solely for Jodie Foster's sake.
My obsession is Jodie Foster. I've gotta, I've gotta find her and talk to her some way in person or something. ... That's all I want her to know, is that I love her. I don't want to hurt her. ... I think I'd rather just see her not, not on earth, than being with other guys. I wouldn't want to stay here on earth without her.
THE HINCKLEY TRIAL: EXCERPTS FROM SELECTED POEMS BY JOHN HINCKLEY
Guns are Fun!
See that living legend over there?
With one little squeeze of this trigger
I can put that person at my feet
moaning and groaning and pleading with God.
This gun gives me pornographic power.
If I wish, the president will fall
and the world will look at me in disbelief,
all because I own an inexpensive gun.
Guns are lovable, Guns are fun
Are you lucky enough to own one?
I Know a Girl
I know a girl who is beyond words;
I don't know her well but I know her.
I know she knows that I know her
and she knows that I love her.
I don't know her true feelings towards me
but she knows that I know her name.
Jodie isn't plastic nor does she
at the sight of me writhing in
down in the gutter of Anystreet USA
because Jodie will always be
Don't cry for me Arizona
the truth is
I brought it on myself
in a calculated way
and by means which
I would postively hurt
everyone around me.
The Painful Evolution
In the beginning
it was a time for pretending.
The martyr in me played games
and I was the young alienated loner.
Toward the middle,
I lied about pain and troubles.
It was a mere three years ago
that I played the part so well.
Nearing the bend,
I should have turned back.
I could have taken the road
that leads to meaningful existence.
In the end,
I cursed myself and suffered.
I have become what I wanted
to be all along, a psychotic poet.
The above poems are taken from The Insanity Defense and the Trial of John W. Hinckley, Jr. by Lincoln Caplan.